


Patience

by MusicLover6661



Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Bucky Barnes Feels, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Cute, F/M, Fluff, Literal Sleeping Together
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-10
Updated: 2018-05-10
Packaged: 2019-05-04 16:52:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,061
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14597451
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MusicLover6661/pseuds/MusicLover6661
Summary: “You are a person though, a little broken, but a person nonetheless” I said softly, my eyes trailing up the metal of his arm, locking onto his eyes.





	Patience

Bucky was the odd man out, out of everyone in the room that was. Everyone else was more normal than him, he was the freak. He would always be the freak, no matter where he went. It didn't matter to him. Being locked away for so long, losing every memory, losing everyone. They wanted to break him, ensure they'd have a killing machine. Steve had disrupted that though, bringing Buck back to earth. It was too late though, there were things that Bucky couldn't control, no matter how hard they worked. He wasn't going to be the same ever again.

 

“Hey, do you mind helping me with some boxes?” I leant against the armrest of the couch, locking eyes with Steve.  
“You know I'm always willing to help” He smiled softly before pushing himself off the couch, Bucky stayed put against the opposite end, his eyes locked on the book he was reading.  
“Guess I came to the right man for help” I patted his arm and headed down to where my old room was, Tony was upgrading me to a better room in the compound so I was moving everything there.

Steve stacked the boxes easily, he could probably carry all of them if he had enough arms. He was always helping everyone out, within reason of course. If he was needed somewhere he'd be there, unless there was an emergency. Cap always came before Steve, saving the world when they needed it most.

“How've things been? I noticed he's gotten a little quieter” Steve stopped in front of the door, his shoulders sagging in the slightest.  
“He's sort of closed himself off, I can tell he wants to let me in, but he can't” Steve nudged the door open with his foot and set the boxes down, his eyes held all the sadness he tried to hard to hide.  
“I know what you mean Steve, I think he's afraid of getting taken away. He deserves happiness more than anyone” I stacked the box in my hands on top of the desk Tony had so graciously given me.  
“He won't give in that easily, he'll fight me tooth and nail until it all comes pouring out” Steve was right, Bucky would tend to bottle up his emotions until it became too much.  
“Just give him time, if he feels rushed it'll only make things worse” Steve smiled sadly and left with a quick goodbye. Time to unpack.

Dinner that night had been eventful, Tony was making snarky remarks about Steve at first, they were just little jokes, but the moment he laid eyes on Bucky who looked as if he wanted none of it. Well, Tony couldn't help but make a joke at the man, on how he sat trying to eat. It was obvious to everyone that he didn't want to take up any space, even if he wasn't a small man whatsoever. He chewed softly to not make any noise either, only using his right arm so the metal on his left arm was silent, shoved deep into the pocket of his hoodie. He flushed when Tony made the first joke, trying to hide himself at the table. After the third he was visibly uncomfortable, his eyes held so much emotion. It took Steve to tell him, in not so many words, to kindly fuck off and leave Bucky alone for him to stop. Bucky didn't stick around after that, leaving a half eaten plate of food in his haste to leave.

I had offered to clean the dishes that night, Steve had more important things to worry about than cleaning everyone's plates. He thanked me and headed down to Bucky's room, turning off most of the lights. The only lights were above the sink, stove, and kitchen island. To anyone coming into the kitchen, they would think no one was inside. I began to softly taunt Tony under my breath, talking about how he could be such an ignorant prick.

“Y'know, it's not nice to talk about someone behind their back” Shit, fucking hell. I gripped onto the plate in my hand tighter.  
“It's also not nice to taunt someone whose clearly struggling” I glanced at him over my shoulder, raising a brow when he sauntered towards me.  
“It was harmless fun, how was I supposed to know he'd run off?” Tony pushed himself up so he was sitting on the counter next to the sink. I had half a mind to splash him with the soapy water.  
“It's obvious on his face how much he thinks we hate him Tony, I can hear him talk to himself when he thinks no one's around” I frowned at the memory, hearing Bucky ask himself if he was right about our feelings towards him.  
“Still, he just needs to loosen up is all” I rolled my eyes and slapped the plate down on the counter.  
“He doesn't need to 'loosen up' Tony, he needs some space so he can adjust. So he isn't afraid of us” In my rage I hadn't felt the plate break, or slice into the palm of my hand. 

Tony's concerned whispers brought me back to reality, the sting of the water wasn't helping at all. I guess I shouldn't smash plates anymore. At least not when Tony's around at least.

“You're gonna need stitches Y/N, what the hell” He grumbled, dragging me towards the elevator. Oh this will be fun.  
“If you had just kept your mouth shut, this wouldn't of happened” I pulled my hand out of his grip and clasped my hands together, wincing as my other palm rubbed harshly against the broken skin.  
“If Rogers sees that, just tell him it was the knife” I furrowed my brows, why would I have to lie to Steve?

The elevator doors opened and we were soon on our way to see Dr. Cho who was, of course, accompanied by Bruce. Why was I not surprised at this point?

“What'd you do to her this time?” Bruce rolled his eyes as he looked over the cut, frowning at how deep it was.  
“We were arguing about her boyfriend” My jaw dropped open.  
“Bucky isn't my boyfriend, you just need to stop being such an asshole is all” Bruce pressed around the cut gently to make sure there were no pieces inside.  
“You care more about him than anyone in this compound, just admit you like him” My face heated with a blush, did I like Bucky? Or was it the protective side in me?  
“You don't know what you're talking about” I pushed my chin in the air, ignoring Tony's eyeroll.

The room was silent before the door's slid open, Steve stepping inside slowly. He looked between Bruce and I a couple times before shaking his head.

“I don't even want to ask questions anymore. Can I speak to you alone?” Steve's eyes were on me, please tell me this didn't have to do with Bucky, please.  
“I'll be done in a moment, then she's all yours” Bruce wrapped gauze around my hand, ensuring it was snug enough to keep the area clean, while not cutting off any circulation.  
“Thank you” My heart was hammering in my chest as I walked over to Steve.  
“Outside?” He nodded and headed out onto the balcony. The air was warm from the summer heat.

We stood together for a few silent moments, neither of us speaking. The only sound coming from the cars driving on the streets below.

“He's been doing a lot better, but Tony ruined it” Steve shook his head, a silent curse of the man's name on his lips.  
“He doesn't know when to quit, everyone knows this” I couldn't get the image of Bucky out of my head, he reminded me of a scared child rather than a super soldier.  
“I didn't even remember he was there, he'll normally talk to me during dinner, but we got separated when making our plates. And he just kept making fun of Buck, I've never seen him break like that before” Steve turned to face me suddenly, his eyes wide with hope.  
“Steve, whatever you're about to say, it's crazy” I was definitely beginning to think Steve was going off the deep end.  
“You're the only person in this entire place that he's felt comfortable around, I want you to help me get him out of his funk, please?” Steve was using his puppy god eyes on me, and I knew I wouldn't be able to say no.  
“If I say yes, will you leave me alone for the night?” I looked at him hopeful, if I was going to help someone who refused it, I needed all the time I could get.

He was silent, his eyes pleading almost. He wasn't being serious, this was all a joke, please tell me this was a joke!

“Steve, it's almost midnight, he's probably in bed” I was going to put my foot down, I could easily refuse.  
“He rarely sleeps, I would know” Steve stated matter of factly.  
“I don't wanna push him farther than what he's dealt with today, why can't this wait?” I raised a brow and held my hands on my hips, well my left hand at least, my right one was still messed up.  
“The less people around the better, he's down in the common room right now” Steve walked off with a smirk. That left me with no other option than to go and find Bucky. Shit.

Bucky was right where Steve had said he'd be. Curled up into himself as he read, it looked like the same book as before. Taking a few deep breaths I stepped into the room slowly, there was no doubt he knew I was there. The man could probably smell the fear rolling off of me in waves right now.

“Hey Buck” I walked closer to the couch, keeping my steps slow and deliberate. He barely glanced up from his book, his eyes dark.  
“Is it okay if I sit down?” I gestured to the cushion farthest away, he needed space more than comfort right now.

He didn't look up from the book, nodding only once before turning the page. I took that as a good sign and sat down, looking up at what he had turned on. It was an old show, something from the eighties for sure. Deciding he was going to be immersed into his book for a while I changed it to something more modern. Game of Thrones was airing a marathon, and what better show for someone to watch when they're trying not to invade someone's space. It would be the best show to watch given the time. Goddamn Steve and his stupid puppy eyes.

“I'm gonna make some popcorn, do you want something to eat? Or a drink?” He clenched his jaw and shook his head, his grip on the book tightening ever so slightly.

I blushed and headed down to the kitchen, this was going to crash and burn before I even had the chance to say anything else to him. Making a bowl of popcorn big enough to feed us both, if Bucky decided he would want some, and grabbing two waters I headed back up to the common room. He hadn't moved an inch, it didn't even look like he was breathing he was so still. Could be a damn statue if he wanted to.

“Made some extra popcorn in case you got hungry” I began to mentally kick myself, he barely ate dinner, he was probably starving right now.

He didn't say anything, simply nodding before his eyes locked onto the screen in front of us. His lips pulled into a frown as Joffrey was slowly poisoned to death, pulling the book back up to his face. I set the bowl down between us, pushing one of the waters closer to his side on the table. He looked at the water for a second, his mouth opening before he closed it and went back to his book. I was really going to kill Steve after all of this was over, that's for sure.

The minutes ticked by slowly as if taunting me, Bucky's fingers turning the pages slowly, a small inhale of breath as he read. My eyes were drooping slowly, so I grabbed a handful of popcorn to eat. I hadn't realized how late it was. Bucky rubbed roughly at his eyes, as if he could will away the sleep that was trying to pull him under as well. I bit my lip and grabbed the bowl of popcorn, setting it down on the coffee table. Bucky watched the bowl before his eyes were on me, questioning what I was doing. I shook my head and laid with my back against the arm of the couch, patting my lap gently. Bucky's eyebrows shot up as he stared at me. I gestured for him to lay down with his head on my stomach, he frowned slightly.

I smiled reassuringly and held my arms out to let him know that I wasn't going to hurt him, just willing to help where I could. Bucky set the book down on the coffee table before laying across the couch, his head pressing gently against my stomach, his left arm resting against my thigh. I grabbed the book and handed it back to him, resting my arms over my chest. He opened it back to the page he was on and started to read again. The credits rolled for the episode, a commercial for the marathon popping up before the next episode began. I began to slowly run my fingers through Bucky's hair, his body stiffening against me, back rigid for a few moments before he felt no threat.

The book in his hands hit the floor after ten minutes, soft snores filling the room. Had I managed to get him to fall asleep just by running my hands through his hair? I'd have to let Steve know that he felt a little more comfortable around me now, at least where I could physically touch him. I smiled and rubbed my thumb over his cheek, the stubble on his cheek seemed thicker than normal. He was always dead set on shaving, unless he had spouts of paranoia where he'd go days without it. I'd just have to lay still for a little while, let Bucky get some rest. Maybe rest my eyes as well.

“Hey, c'mon everyone's gonna be up soon” Steve's soft voice was washing over me, except him in my dream looked entirely different. We were sparring.  
“Y/N, you need to get into your own bed” Oh shit, had I fallen asleep on the couch? Did Bucky end up staying with me?  
“I'm up” I mumbled groggily, my eyes refused to open. I tried to shift, only to have two arms wrap tighter around me. Bucky was definitely still here, whimpering softly under his breath.  
“I'll get him up first, then you can go lay down in your room” Steve stepped over to Bucky who wasn't loosening his grip, his hands digging bruises into my back.  
“Buck, it's time to get up man” Steve placed a hand on his shoulder gently, leaning closer to Bucky.

His whimpers became louder, his shoulders shaking as sweat broke out on his forehead. Shit, he was either having a night terror, or a nightmare. And I wasn't entirely sure I would be the best person to deal with it. I wrapped one arm around him, whispering that he was safe, carding my free hand through his hair gently. He stayed still for a few seconds before lifting his head, his eyes locking on Steve before trailing over to me. A frown pulling his lips down, I'm sure it was better than waking everyone up with screaming this time.

“You were having a nightmare, Y/N was trying to wake you up” Steve helped Bucky to his feet, ushering him to his room slowly.

I pushed myself up and ran a hand through my hair, the image of Bucky shaking would haunt me for a while, his eyes were wild before he saw Steve and I.

“I don't think I've ever seen him calm down that fast before” Nat was standing by the recliner, a half eaten apple in her hands. Goddamn that woman.  
“I was afraid he was gonna hurt himself, I've seen the marks he's left on Steve before” I pulled down my shirt instinctively, blushing as if his skin was still against mine.  
“He wouldn't do that to you because he knows it isn't Steve by his side. I think he sees you as a comfort zone, but he doesn't know how to actually say something” I furrowed my brows at her declaration. That sounded so absurd.  
“I'm kind to him, and I give him his space because he needs it, that doesn't mean we're close” Bucky and I were as close as two enemies.  
“You should show him that you care, maybe it'll do you some good” I rolled my eyes at her, why was everyone insinuating that I was in love with the man.

I left the room before Nat could say anything else, the last thing I wanted was to start thinking of Bucky as anything more than a friend. The man didn't want to date, he wanted to feel comfortable enough to eat without Tony ruining it for him. Maybe I'd give him a piece of my mind, he needed a good ass kicking for the shit he's been pulling lately. Instead of seeing Tony like I had hoped, I was stopped by Steve.

“He didn't say anything to you last night, did he?” Steve was blocking my exit, ensuring I would tell him everything that happened.  
“He didn't say a word to me last night, I had to use hand gestures to do anything” That sounded way better in my head, now Steve's gonna think I tried to seduce Bucky.  
“He was laying on you though, you're telling me he did that willingly?” I nodded which surprised Steve, I knew Bucky was quiet but jesus.  
“Yes, he was reading when I offered, and he just kinda laid down against me and fell asleep after like ten minutes. I think his warmth is what knocked me out” Bucky's skin felt like a blaze against me originally.  
“Wow, that's a first for him” I blushed and crossed my arms over my chest. I wanted to go back to bed and sleep.

Steve bit his lip softly, his eyes locking onto me. No, I am done dealing with him for the rest of the day, I needed a good rest before I could handle anything he threw at me.

“He asked if you could help him fall asleep, like you did last night” That caught me off guard, it seemed sweeter somehow.  
“Help him fall asleep?” It sounded crazy, the man hated people being around him for too long, but now he wanted to be there when he fell asleep?  
“Yes, he said that you helped keep him calm last night, he needs it” Goddamnit, this wasn't helping my case on not having feelings for him.  
“I mean, if it'll help him” Steve didn't wait for me to be able to decline, grabbing my wrist before practically dragging me down to Bucky's room.

He pushed the door open slowly, to let Bucky know it was him. He was sitting on his bed, having changed into a pair of sweats and a hoodie. He was determined to keep his metal arm hidden at all times apparently.

“Hey, try not to smother her in your sleep okay?” Steve snickered as Bucky glared at him. At least he could joke with him.  
“I'll take it from here Steve” I held a hand on his arm, assuring everyone in the room, myself included, that everything was going to be fine.

Steve nodded and left, shutting the door behind himself. Bucky pushed himself closer to the middle of the bed, unzipping the hoodie that covered his entire upper half.

“Do you want to lay like we did last night? Or with your head a little higher?” It'd be a more comfortable position for us each to lay in. Bucky could sprawl out more.  
“Yes, thank you” His voice was smooth, gravelly from the lack of use.  
“Got it” I crawled onto the bed, positioning myself with the pillows so we each had plenty of room.

Bucky waited until I was entirely comfortable before laying his head against my chest, his ear pressed against my heart. His left arm wrapped itself around my waist, his right hand grabbing my hand and placing it in his hair. I smiled and ran my fingers slowly through his hair, untangling the slight knots. He relaxed into the embrace, sighing softly before closing his eyes.

It took less time for him to fall asleep this time, his snores filling the room as he dreamt. He looked so happy, free of all his problems and worries. What would his dreams be like today? Would he wake up from another nightmare? Or would they be positive things? Of back before him and Steve were turned into the people they were today. I closed my eyes, and let myself drift off into a deep sleep.

Waking up wasn't the same as the morning, the sun was set low in the sky, purple and orange cascading over every inch. The front of my shirt felt wet, oh no, did Bucky start sweating? Or was he crying in his sleep? Oh shit I was definitely not the best person to deal with that. But the moment I looked down my heart swelled with joy, a small puddle of drool was coming out the side of his mouth. I would take drool over tears, or sweat from a nightmare any day. 

The scars on his shoulder were just visible underneath the blanket from when he removed his hoodie, I traced them slowly with my fingers, frowning at the thought. How could someone put him through such torture? He had been through so much in his life, people looked at him as if he were a freak, a monster. He wasn't any of those things, he was such a strong person.

“That feels absolutely amazing” Bucky's words were muffled due to the cotton of my shirt.  
“I didn't realize you were awake” I blushed and slid my hand down his metal arm, tracing each contour and line.  
“Your heart rate picked up, it's been so calm that it lulled me to sleep” Bucky pushed himself up and wiped the side of his mouth, blushing in embarrassment as he noticed the drool.  
“I was just thinking about the fact that everyone sees the arm before they see you, I was getting all sentimental in my head is all” I smiled and wiped the rest of the drool from his oncoming beard.  
“It's not something people are used to is all, they don't want to see me as a person” Bucky yawned and plopped down onto the bed next to me.  
“You are a person though, a little broken, but a person nonetheless” I said softly, my eyes trailing up the metal of his arm, locking onto his eyes.

Neither of us spoke, each admiring the soft glow of the setting sun on each other. Bucky reached up to tuck a hair behind my ear. My face flushed as I tried to hide, the only logical place being his side, where else could I possibly go? He was the only thing I even noticed in the room for the last few hours.

“Thank you, for everything. You've really showed me that not everyone is the bad guy” Bucky wrapped his arms around me, his lips pressing into my hair gently.  
“You don't need to thank me Bucky, I'll be here whenever you need me” I was getting in too deep and I didn't care, let Tony make all the jokes about me.  
“How about a date, friday?” My heart rate kicked into high gear.  
“A date sounds lovely Mr. Barnes” I looked up at him with a smile, his own lips pulled up into a small smile. It reached his eyes. And it was beautiful.


End file.
